The sky is black and all of the electricity is off. No street lights or anything, only light from the moon and stars illuminate the sky. All of a sudden, running towards you are millions of hungry zombies eating everything in sight!
I know that I will never understand the obsession over the new zombie and vampire trends. One thing I do know, it would be pretty cool if there ever was a real zombie attack.
It’s 6 a.m. and you turn on the news to see what is going on around the world. This is what you see scrolling at the bottom of the television…
BREAKING NEWS: Zombie attack coming in 24 hours. Be prepared… or else.
1. Well, the first thing I would do was scream! After done screaming, I would start my preparation.
2. Next, I would go to the closest dollar store and get some cheap food. Stores like ShopRite and Stop and Shop are overpriced anyway. If I survive the zombie attack, I’m hoping that I have some money left over.
3. After the dollar store, next on your list would be some sort of weapon. Since I really don’t condone the use of firearms, I’m thinking more of a broom. I know, I know, a broom really wouldn’t help too much. Fine, I guess since it is a zombie attack, I suppose you would need some sort of gun. Hopefully it is a gun that didn’t actually kill the zombie, but paralyze him so he doesn’t move. Just make sure you don’t hurt the poor zombie, he doesn’t know any better (I joke, I’m a zombie expert).
Weapon, check √
4. Now it’s time for to prepare your house for a zombie break in. Make sure that you have lots and lots of boards and wood.
Also, lots and lots of nails and a hammer. I’m warning you, make sure that every single window and door is locked down tightly. Double, even triple board up your windows and doors.
Also, if you have time, try to call your carpenter as well. Make sure that your roof doesn’t have any holes, as well as your floors. Nothing is more annoying than a zombie crashing through your roof and landing on your brand new carpet.
From the looks of it, I think you’re ready to go! Just remember, have a little sympathy for the zombie. I’m sure they have families at home and bills they need to pay after the attack is over. Heck, who knows maybe after it’s all said and done… you can invite one over for dinner!